Friday, June 17, 2016

Fathers, Husbands and Sons

This Sunday, June 19th is Father's Day here in the United States.  It's a day to celebrate all the fathers in your life.  This year I've been thinking about the men that have shaped me into the Crone that I am...my Father, my two marriages and my son.

I think above all else I am a child of my Father.  He was the most influential man in my life and June 17th this year would have been his 92nd birthday!  A former United States Marine he taught me so many lessons.  It's from my Dad that I got my weird sense of humor.  I learned that there are very few things in life that can't be improved with a laugh or sarcastic quip.  He had the humor of a man who faced death in its most brutal and ugly form, war.  He survived combat in the the Pacific during WWII and Korea.  I can't find much in my life that I can't laugh about.  The gift of humor from my father has served me well in good times and in bad.

My father taught me the strength and conviction of my beliefs.  I'm not afraid to be who I am or to believe in what I do.  My Dad told me that the greatest thing you can be is yourself.  Toward the end of his life we had some intense spiritual discussions.  His philosophy that enabled him to make it through two wars (Korea technically a "police action" but lets be real...it was a war) was that at your birth your hand is held by death and death walks with you from then on.  He always said that he knew he was dead anyway...so fighting, making an amphibious landing under fire, Chosin Reservoir were ok as death would be with you and take you when it was your time.  No need to worry about it.  I've made my peace with death, I can feel his hand in mine and know that I will go when it is my time, not before.  It's liberating to be friends with the grim reaper.

I miss my father.

I have had two husbands.  My first one whom I usually refer to as "Asshole" - well, lets just say he physically and mentally abused me.  I was young, too young and very stupid.  I did learn a valuable lesson from him even though it took five years and the loss of a child and my ability to have children.  I learned that to live in fear of what others think, or what you think they think is asinine. It was a hard lesson but one I know I had to learn  I do thank asshole for teaching me that.

My present husband, my beloved spouse, Himself is a joy.  A Crone couldn't ask for a better husband.  He's everything that I not only want but need.  From Himself I have humor, love, acceptance, patience (on both our parts!) and passion.  I would not change a hair on his head, a cell in his body or a thought in his brain.  He's perfect (for me).  I consider myself incredibly lucky.

Last but not least is my Son.  The only good thing I got from Asshole.  My son has given me love, heartache, grandchildren, laughter, companionship, and started me down the slippery slope of tattoo addiction!  I love him more than he probably realizes.

Father's, Husbands and Sons.....men in my life that have for good or bad made me into the wicked, crazy, unusual Crone that I am.  I love them all (except Asshole).