Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Random Bits & An Angry Rant

At the time I wrote my last blog posting (November 27, "The Long Road Back") I was still recovering from my October back surgery.  It's been a long few months for me.  I thought I'd share a few random thoughts and one angry rant that has been stewing about in my little Crone brain.

I have continued with my physical therapy and only have one more appointment then I will be finished.  I am happy to report that I am doing quite well.  I have returned to Belly Dancing and actually have more range of motion than I did prior to my surgery!  I think this is the best my back has felt in over twenty years.  We even have almost finished paying for the surgery!

I had several bouts of illness during my recovery.  Because my immune system was trashed by all the chemicals used in anesthesia I have caught every little bug that I came in contact  with.  This combined with the dark, dreary, rainy conditions on "the peninsula"  caused bouts of depression that I had to fight.  I normally enjoy our weather here.  The fog, rain and mist appeal to me but not this time.  I found myself not wanting to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone.  I wish that there was some way to erase the gene in my system that makes me prone to depression.  As I've aged I've learned the signs of an oncoming bout and while I can usually exercise or self talk myself out of depression this time it was just too much.

Christmas was just my beloved spouse Himself, my loyal mini-minions Rupert and Boomer and I.  We did have my step son and his wife, my step daughter and her friend from Germany come visit after the holidays.

I've finished with my "random bits" and now for my "Angry Rant"....... 

 Prior to the holidays I had found a wonderful source for greeting cards.  I purchased some "Mid Winter" cards and mailed these to several friends and relatives.  I was surprised by some of the reactions.  Most of my friends liked them but I had no direct comments from most.  However I had one acquaintance who has started to send me messages trying to save my soul, telling me to read the bible, accept Jesus etc.  I have another acquaintance who has stopped talking to me.  I actually find this quite amusing but also sad.

I have had the same beliefs since early pre-teens.  As I have aged, matured and studied  my beliefs, while basically the same, have matured, refined and become more focused.  I am the same person I have always been.  I am the same person who had long conversations with my father about my beliefs and was amazed that he shared a number of them.  I am the same person my acquaintances have known and accepted up until this point.

While I have never "flaunted" my beliefs, I've never really hidden them either.  Perhaps I am more open as a Crone than I have been in the past, I don't know.  I don't think anyone should be forced to hide who or what they are.  I can empathize with the LGBT community, I really can.  When people discover that I am an animist and polytheist there is usually acceptance or that look of pity, scorn, sympathy and sometimes even fear (break out the pitchforks, your crucifix, and lets start burning at the stake).  Get over it folks, not everyone has the same beliefs...that doesn't make one better than the other, one right or one wrong.  My faith is my faith, I don't try to force it on you.  I respect you and your faith as long as you don't preach to me or try to ram your beliefs down my throat.  I have as strong a belief in my faith as you do in yours, it has brought me comfort in times of need, joy into my life and inspiration and help when needed.

So, there you go....I may lose a few friends over this, I may face ridicule from others, but so be it.

Le Petite Crone says: