Thursday, September 13, 2012

It's Festival Time...My Phobia

It's Autumn again on "The Peninsula".  Like most small communities we have our annual weird little celebrations that add to the local fabric of life.  Many of these events seem to have no connection at all to the local area...but are celebrated with great gusto...logic be damned! 

We had our local weekend devoted to the wonders of garlic.  Do they grow garlic here?  No.  Is an unusual amount of garlic consumed here?  No.  Why garlic?  I have no idea...but we have "The Garlic Festival" anyway complete with two grown men dressed as top hat wearing cloves of garlic wandering about so you can take your photo with them.  Why?!

There are the normal craft booths that show up in every town, at every festival selling the same items by the same people! There is the heavy set man selling the marshmallow guns made from plastic piping (he lounges in his chair, staring a people as they pass...I've never seen him sell anything!),  free trade baskets, canes and knives being sold by the African man with the sexy accent (is he really from Africa?), hand knitted dog sweaters being sold by the kindly looking old grey haired lady (who would spend all their time knitting that many dog sweaters???), horrible wine glasses made from canning jars sold by the man with bad teeth (did he personally try each glass?), and of course face painting done by the middle aged woman wearing fairy wings (really?).  I know these people are actually members of a huge army of clones created in a secret lab just to populate local festivals, county fairs and farmer's markets.  What is their REAL purpose?

I have to admit that I've had "issues" with farmers markets, fairs, traveling carnivals, amusement parks (yes, even Disneyland!) and local festivals for years.  I'm not sure what started it...but these types of activities always make me uncomfortable.  Ever since I was a small child I always had a feeling that the people who populate these events and places were really not what they appeared to be. 

I've had the misfortune to read several novels and have seen several movies as well which touch on this theme.  Of course this only added to my phobia.   The novel that best touched on my phobia was by one of my favorite writers Dean Koontz "Twilight Eyes" it and you'll never look at a carnival in the same way.  Mr. Koontz's smile hides a twisted mind, but any man who can write so beautifully about dogs can't be all bad!

I often have the image of a fly being lured into a web by a spider when I visit one of these events.  Why am I here?  What do "they" want?  Where do "they" go at night?  I'm giving myself goosebumps!  Of course I realize that the reason we go to these events is so "Himself" can get a sausage dog and some garlic ice cream....but still in the cobwebby corners my my twisted little crone mind monsters lurk.....and they sell marshmallow guns!

Le Petite Crone says:  Enjoy your festival, whatever it may be...but beware!